Running Away (Six Feet Under, 2)
by ReinikSociety
Summary: Clint wakes up in the hospital after trying to kill himself. Is running away the only solution? If so, how far do you have to run? Series. Contains adult content such as language, attempted suicide, etc.


Author's Note: Whaddup? So, when I made this, I decided I wanted to continue the story from Ghosts. (I recommend you read that first.) I had it in my head that running away from something was a good idea. I think it was. It really hits deep with me, so I kinda sorta know where he's coming from. It's really my favorite part. (Even if it _does _suffocate me a little.) Anyway, enjoy!

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I hear beeping and I stir. I smell cleaning supplies.

_Am I in a hospital...?_

I open my eyes and wait for the blur to go away. I look to my right and I see Bobbi staring at me with a worried expression. I see the lights on the ceiling and the familiar covers on me.

_I _am_ in a hospital._

Then it hits me like a drum. I remember everything. I move my arms and feel a sting.

_Oh, right... _

I look to my left and see Steve and Tony. Steve looks sad and Tony looks pissed.

"I..."

"Clint!"

Bobbi puts her arms around my neck and squeezes tight. Steve steps closer and Tony gets up from his seat. Steve puts his hand on my shoulder. Tony pushes him aside.

"Why would you try something so stupid, huh?"

"What...? Why are you guys here?"

"Tony, stop."

"No. Well?"

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"Tch. Of course not."

Steve pulls him away and Bobbi steps in.

"No, Steve, I want to know, too. Why, Clint? WHY?!"

She slams her fist on the dinner tray and knocks it down. I flinch and look down. I can't bear to look at her. Steve tries to calm her down.

"Bobbi... Maybe we should let him talk."

"If he wanted to talk, he would've done so."

"Tony, you're not helping. Clint... Why did you do this?"

I look up at Steve and feel my eyes brim with tears. Why did I survive? Why am I not dead? I should be dead!

I put my hands to my face and start to cry silently. Tony pulls my hand away from my face, which startles me. I look at him, surprised.

"Look at your arms, Barton! You're a freakin' mess. What's wrong with you, huh?"

"Why am I alive...?"

Tony wears an expression of surprise and puts a hand to his mouth as he turns away from me. Bobbi looks at me and starts to cry.

"Why are you alive?! Is it so bad, Clint?! Why shouldn't you be alive?!"

"Because she's dead! Don't you get it?! I killed her! I deserve to die!"

"Everybody makes mistakes, Clint! You're not the only who has to suffer!"

Tony walks closer to me and slaps me straight across the face, hard. I feel blood trickle down my mouth. Steve quickly pushes him away.

"Are you okay, Clint?"

I don't answer him and just close my eyes. It feels like I've been asleep for weeks. Feels like forever. My throat is sore from where I assume a tube was. I feel a wet cloth against my mouth. I push the hand away.

"Just leave me alone, will you?"

"Oh, you want us to leave you alone, huh? How do we know you won't try to kill yourself again?"

"Oh, shut up, Tony."

"Did you even think of Bobbi? Or does this always have to be about you?"

I don't answer.

"Figures. Only someone so selfish would try to do what you did..."

"SHUT UP!"

I jerk up and out of the bed, ripping the IV out of my arm. I push Tony down and dash out into the hallway. I hear them yell my name, but I keep going, not looking back. A nurse yells not to run in the hallways. But I ignore her and keep going. I run out of the hospital and out into the parking lot. I hear them calling for me. I look around and head right. I turn down an alleyway and jump a fence blocked by boxes and junk. As I jump, the fence rips the bandage on my arm open. I see blood trickle down.

"Shit..."

I ignore the sting and keep on running. I'm not sure if I've lost them or not, but I'm not stopping to check. I turn a corner and almost trip over a homeless person. I mutter a sorry and keep running.

I stop at the emergence of traffic and look around, panting.

I don't know where exactly I am, but I know I've been running for a while. I go left and decide to slow down a bit. I'm not superhuman, I can't run forever. My lungs burn and I look down at my arm. The bleeding has stopped, but it still hurts. I see a diner ahead and stop at the payphone. I feel around my pants and - I could hit myself - I'm wearing hospital pants. I sigh and go into the diner.

"Welcome to-"

"Yeah, hi. Can I use your phone?"

"Are you going to get something?"

"No. I have no cash on me."

"The phone's for paying costumers only."

"Well, can I have a cup of water then? Please?"

"Sure."

The waitress leaves and I sit down at the bar.

_I don't know why I want to use the phone... I have no one to call. I do wish I could talk to Bobbi though. I'm so sorry Bobbi..._

The waitress comes back with my water and I thank her. I ask for a pen and paper and she obliges.

_I'm going to do this right this time. _

I start to write.

"To my sweet Bobbi,

I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain...

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

I know you don't believe me when I say I don't deserve to live.

But you have to understand. That girl didn't deserve to die.

And that's why I have to go.  
I want you to know I love you with all my core and always will.

I hope you can forgive me.

Love always, Clint."

I put down the pen and start to cry again. I look up and think of all that is Bobbi. She's everything a man could ask for.

_But I'm not a man, I'm a coward. I don't deserve her. I know Bobbi, she'll move on. I know it._

I fold the note and put it into my pocket. I gulp down the water and head for the door. I open it and bump straight into someone.

"Sorry- Tony!"

Tony grabs my arms and tries to tackle me down. We struggle for a while, then I hear another voice. I see Steve running towards us and I catch Tony off guard. I elbow him right in the crotch and sprint in the opposite direction. But before I could get far, I hear thundering steps coming toward us. I slowly turn around and see the Hulk heading for me. I try to run faster, but I feel large hands scoop me up and hold me tight. I struggle violently and try to wriggle free. I stop and turn as best I could to look at the Hulk.

"Bruce...? Please let me go..."

I start crying uncontrollably.

"PLEASE!"

"Hulk no want friend to hurt himself."

"Hulk-Hulk- Please. I have to go... I'll be fine. I'll be better than fine. I'll be... happy."

I see Tony and Steve approach us and I groan.

"Good work, Hulk. Let's take him to the hospital."

"NO! Leave me alone, you bastards!"

"Hulk. You know what to do."

I feel something hit my head.

I wake up and see that it's night. I jerk my arms up. Or, at least I try to. My wrists are tied down to the bed with restraints. I try breaking free.

"Ah! Ahh! Ugh!"

I try one last time to no avail. I slam back down and sigh. I hear a knock at the door and see Steve come in.

"Can I come in?"

"Why the hell not?"

Steve pauses, then gets closer. He looks down at my arm and grimaces. He sits.

"You've hurt your arm again..."

"What do you want, Steve? Shouldn't you be with that jerk, Tony?"

"We just want to help you, Clint."

"I'm a grown man. I don't need help!"

"You're not acting like a man! You're... acting like a coward."

"I know... But this is the only way."

Right then, Tony walks in and stands at the end of the bed. I struggle again and scream.

"Woah, clam down, Clint!"

Tony puts his hand on my chest and guides me back down. I start to cry again.

"Why won't you let me die...?"

Tony looks down and Steve puts a hand to his mouth and closes his eyes.

"Guys... Please. Take the restraints off. I won't try anything, I swear!"

Steve gets up and leaves. Tony gets closer and leans forward to my face.

"You should be ashamed."

"Don't you think I am already?! I've caused Bobbi too much pain... Please let me die..."

Tony doesn't say anything and just walks out. I hear him tell the Hulk to guard me.

_Dammit! Maybe...?_

"Hulk."

He doesn't come.

"Hulk!"

I hear the door open and the Hulk comes into view.

"Hey. How's it going?"

He doesn't answer.

"Not one for small talk, huh?"

I laugh nervously and clear my throat.

"Hey, um, you think you can take these restraints off for me? Pretty please?"

He turns to leave.

"Wait! You... hulking dumb-ass...?"

He turns back around and I see his face contort in anger.

_This might work..._

"You know what? Why don't you just go? You're too stupid to stand guard!"

I see him get even angrier as he clinches his fists.

"Tch. What am I saying? You're probably too stupid to understand what stupid means."

I really got him angry this time. He lifts his fist and smashes the side of my bed, nearly hitting me in the process. My restraint breaks and I quickly unbuckle the rest of them. I get up real fast and hide in a storage closet while he isn't looking. Apparently, he notices I'm gone and starts to calm down. He looks around frantically, and in his confusion, I sneak out the door.

I sneak-run down the hallway.

_I need to find the door to the roof... _

I keep searching until I do. I check to see if it's locked.

_It isn't! Thank goodness for neglectful security._

I open the door and go out onto the roof. It's so dark and breezy. I feel my body tilting in the wind. I walk closer to the ledge and look down.

"It's so far down..."

"It is..."

I get startled and turn quickly around. I see Steve and Tony standing at the entrance.

_Bobbi must have gone home... I don't blame her._

Steve moves in a little closer.

"Please don't jump, Clint. Think about Bobbi..."

"I am. You're a good man, Steve. Please take care of her for me."

Tony slowly gets closer to me, as well.

I step back a bit.

_The wind has almost completely gone..._

"Wait! Don't!

I remember the note in my pocket and I take it out.

"What's that...?"

"It's... for Bobbi. Make sure she gets it, will you?"

I throw the note and it lands at Tony's feet.

_It's time. I say a little prayer._

I spread my arms and lean backwards.

"I'm going to miss you guys..."

I walk backwards off the ledge, and as I fall, I barely hear them scream my name.

The wind feels nice through my hair.

_Finally... _

I close my eyes.

_**THE END**_

_**Inspiring Songs:**_

_**Camisado - Panic! at the Disco**_

_**Asleep - The Smiths**_

_**Failed Suicide Attempt - Tearstained**_


End file.
